Restored to Joy

There is so much good to be found in suffering, in heartache, in loneliness, in upset, in stress. There is so much beauty and so much comfort to be found. But that is no excuse to stay there.

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Passion 2015 Atlanta last week. It was incredible in so many ways, and while I was there, it hit me- I had become so used to living in my suffering that I had forgotten the joy!

Living with a chronic illness will take it right out of you. Don't let anyone tell you differently. It's difficult, it sucks, it takes a lot of adjustment and a good sense of humor.

It is also a wonderful learning opportunity with many lessons offered daily. It is an experience which strips away any pretense with those you love and who love you... and a few random strangers. It is a situation which can and will drive you to your knees.

But it never saved me, therefore it is not the source of my joy. There is so much good to be gleaned from crap, you have my word. Suffering is like a really awful yard sale- no one really wants any of that stuff, but if you're patient then you just might find something beautiful. But it was never meant to be the destination- just a rest stop to show me my Savior anew.

I will never stop learning from this life I live, but I want to rest where my Savior is. I don't want to stay with my suffering. I want to abide in His joy that He had opened my eyes to.

Psalm 16 (ESV)

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

    I have no good apart from you.”

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,

    in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;

    their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out

    or take their names on my lips.

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;

    you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

    indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;

    in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me;

    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;

    my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

    or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;

    in your presence there is fullness of joy;

    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

I want to set the Lord before me. I want to dwell on Him and His work, not the medium through which He is teaching me. This simple thought dawned on me while I was standing in Philips Arena, surrounded by more than 20,000 of my closest friends- focused on Jesus. Hearing so many voices raised, seeing so many people in awe, and not really caring if anyone was there or if it was just you- I imagine that it was the tiniest glimpse of Heaven. Being so consumed with Christ and His joy- it's much better than sorting through yard sale stuff all the time. Look up- He's beautiful. 

Here are some of the wonderful people that stood by me and helped by me sort through my heart as we sought the face of God together. (I might be biased, but I think they're pretty awesome).