I have cried many tears leading up to this day. I'm about to start crying again...
tears of shock
tears of joy
tears of surprise
tears of exhaustion
tears of happiness
tears of anticipation
tears of confusion
tears because I could not find words
You see, I have waited for this day for three years. I have counted down to this day for weeks. I have had this day in big red letters on my mirror where I would see it everyday!
What's so special about today? Actually... nothing. The really special day was Monday, but this was a more concise milestone, and I like concise.
When I became ill three years ago, I passed out three times in a week. Then I was seemingly fine for 20 weeks and 5 days; I thought it was a fluke. Then my illness struck again and I have struggled with it consistently with it for three years. But... I haven't passed out recently.
Monday was 20 weeks and 5 days! Today is 21 WEEKS!
I don't know what has made the difference, and I still don't know what the future holds. I still have moments where I am hanging on to consciousness by a thread. But SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT!
Maybe my body is getting stronger. (Maybe my body is just fed up with itself.)
Maybe the doctors finally figured something out (lol- I don't go to doctors anymore!)
Maybe I have so much Gatorade and salt built up in my body, that my illness doesn't stand a chance.
Maybe I've been healed of one or more of the three illnesses.
Maybe it's because my New Year's resolution is FINALLY working.
Maybe it's because I'm stubborn.
Maybe it's because of the burden lifted from my soul this year.
Maybe it's just because.
Maybe this will last forever.
Maybe it will end tomorrow.
Either way, I'm grateful to be here, to be conscious for 21 WEEKS!
Friends, thank you. I don't know what the future holds; I don't know if I'll ever have the blessing and challenge of writing a "sicky" blog again. So I want to thank you; I want to hug each of you.
For the past three years, you have stood by me,
you have caught me (figuratively and literally!),
you have cried with me,
you have prayed over me,
you have listened,
you have fought for me,
you have fought with me,
you have driven me around,
you have brought me food,
you have told me I was more than an illness.
I have been very blessed to hear very few hurtful comments that others have heard from those supposed to care: "it's all in your head," "you just need to exercise more," "you don't have enough faith," and others such as that.
Thank you, friends.
