It's been awhile...

It's been super long since I've written a blog. Hopefully you'll be excited to know that I'm still alive! I'm actually doing well.

I passed out a couple of times after by last blog, then went 2 1/2 weeks without passing out!! Then I passed out. In my room. By myself. Oops. But since that day it has been 4 weeks!!!! (and one day!) I've had chest pains since late September. And starting the Thursday before Thanksgiving, I was constantly struggling to breathe. Not fun times!

But on Thanksgiving (get this- this happened ON THANKSGIVING DAY! what?!?!?!) I woke up- without chest pain, with easy breathing. And if I haven't mentioned it- it's been 4 weeks since I've passed out! (and a day!) I'm kinda super pumped about that! Breathing and remaining conscious are two under-appreciated luxuries!

And today I got to do something that I haven't done since August! I drove my car BY MYSELF! And it was glorious! Well since I haven't been allowed to drive my own car I let my friend Anna borrow it. And she left her Kari Jobe CD in my car. When I got in the car, the first things I heard were

I'm not gonna worry

I know that You've got me

Right inside the palm of your hand

Each and every moment

What's good and what gets broken

Happens just the way You plan.

And it was even more glorious! See recently I've been learning that there is a super fine line between celebrating things and worshiping those things. That's what happened when I went 2 1/2 weeks without an impromptu nap. My attitude was along the lines of "I've been awake for 2 weeks- I got this!" Let me tell ya, I got nothing. Everything that happens in my life- it's in God's plan. He has ordained every happening to make me holy- not happy.

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

The good, the bad- God is using it to make me holy, to make me more Christlike. Let's just be really honest- this semester has not been what I signed up for. It's been tough all the way around. But God is using it- ALL of it. 

That said- I'm still really excited that this semester is almost finished!